When a Ph.D. girl falls in Love <3

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First love is always special, and so it was for me. I still remember I had so many mixed feelings… I was nervous, confused, happy, depressed, tensed, and a lot more that I even didn’t know… Everything around was looking so restless. I couldn’t even do any single thing that day; maybe I could call him It was so hard to manage that confused mixture of emotions floating inside me. Everything was looking so different…

Any other girl, of course not me, would have expressed those feelings, would have told him that yes, all these are just for you, would have cherished the first feeling of love, and maybe I should have done that. But you know, I am a researcher, a person who is always interested in knowing why this is happening, what is the reason, and has thousands of questions about any small thing. And I did the same with love too… I just ended up thinking about how this happened to me; why really why? How can I like someone, what were the traits? How does he know about everything even I never said.

How I can be so irrational that I just fell in love with someone even without considering all the parameters, by the way, what are the parameters, what should I consider, and then again a long list of questions, never-ending… Thousands of questions were in my mind, and I just wanted an answer for all of them. My Ph.D. instincts overcame my love somehow. Days kept passing, and I was still thinking of their answers.

Being in love for the first time in my life, I was also very curious to call him and tell him everything, express those beautiful feelings to him. Finally, I called but nothing this happened, I just ended up asking him all the questions I had and even more. I wanted to know the limits of our love. I still don’t know if I was more interested in knowing that really am I in love or how am I in love, and I think it was more about the second one. I just spent around a month exploring for those answers, and then one day, I just realized…

I am a girl, a human, and it is pretty normal to fall in love at this young age, and I should enjoy these moments rather than analyzing them with so many WHY, HOW and WHAT… I realized love doesn’t go through the checklist that we prepare for the years before that right moment comes.

It’s been four months, and I am still trying to be a girl and a lover than a researcher in my love story 😛 . Still, sometimes we just sit and analyze how things happened, how we made a choice, how we really opted for it, what was the probability, what were the odds, and so many things. But yes, now I understand that few things just happen beyond math and science; they are just meant to be happened in your life to make it much more beautiful. 🙂

Disclaimer: Just think before falling in love with a researcher 😉 though you can’t help 😛 😀

Letter to my Intern… Hey Girl…

Hey Cutiee Girl,

I am writing this to share my pleasure in working with you. This was really a very nice experience.  It was a great pleasure to answer all your queries whether related to research or career guidance. I always mentored you and tried to help you understand all the different perspectives of life. You are such an amazing, hard-working, self-motivated girl. I know I couldn’t give you much time as I was busy with other projects, still, I tried my best to help you learn a lot and gather the skills for building a nice project. Your internship is ending now but our relationship will not end here.

I know being an ambitious girl from a small place, you would have faced many problems in your life and I know you have handled them bravely. If I say: I wish you have a smooth life further and achieve your dreams, I know I will be lying to you and also to myself. Because I know being a girl you will have to struggle hard to take every single step towards your dream. But I can surely say, I will always be there for you whatever is the time or condition. I will help you to find a smooth solution for the zigzag-like hard problems coming your way. Someone once said to me: “I am a keyboard away, so always feel free to ping me” and that day I really felt the world is small, at least all the people I care and I need are close to me. Today I am saying to you that I will always be just a keyboard away. Feel free to share everything with me, your successes, your failures, your dreams, your goals, and even the small footsteps you take towards hitting the flags on your big dreams.

Never think that you cannot achieve something because as I know you, being such a hard-working, dedicated girl, you can achieve whatever you want to. I will still suggest you few things what I feel, always remember parents are not so proud of us when we earn big money but they are always proud of us if we are a good human being and they will always be happy to see us happy. And I also wish you always stay happy. I hope you never have a single tear in your eyes as you deserve to be a happy person, just go for it. I wish you get all the success and whatever that success means to you.  I am sure you will write down your goals and will make a path towards them.

You are a nice, soft-hearted, kind person and this one thing always made me have a strong personal bond with you. I hope in future you will also come forward to help and guide other girls struggling through their paths.

God bless you and always keep you happy. The memories with you will always be a part of my happy-days diary at IIT Ropar.

Lord I Pray…

 

Skimping in the rubble
           hearing dreaded howl,
Inching for me
          could see the wolf prowl.

Hopes tying to a thread
          hanging upside down,
Bewildered so much
          be gloomy or frown..??

World falling apart
          sky changing gray,
For that moment of peace
          Lord, I pray…….. !!!

-By A&A

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Quotes: from my Diary

 

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  • It’s easy to handle the hatred than love as love comes with more responsibilities.

  • Tears show the winning of heart over mind in a battle happened inside you. 
  • First, we should believe in changes and then turn them real. 
  • Tears are not the symbol of weakness, they are the symbol of honesty, purity, loyalty, love, strength, success and a lot more that happened in your life.
  • Everyone who writes a software starts with “Hello World!!!”. 
  • This is an era of collaboration and crowdSourcing, better you learn team-work.

  • You are born to work for one person, and that person is you.

-By Akrati Saxena

 

 

 

Thousands of Feelings…

 

Thousands of feelings were floating in my heart,
It was like a randomly moving cart.

I wanted to say everything one after another,
But my lips were getting only a plain blurb.

I wish you would have been here to make me calm,
I would have tightly held your palm.

Fears of being with you were nailing me down,
I wished I could run away from this town.

It was this even more than this,
Your sweet little Missy feels you are missed.

-By Akrati Saxena

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